True Waiting Stories
True Waiting Story #16: “Two Words: P. U.”
December 23, 2006 – 12:00 am
People, after being seated, please do not touch any charge slips or guest checks which may have been left on the table by a previous patron! Such paperwork may contain vital information intended for the server’s eyes only.
Now I don’t know if one woman’s motivation was simply to pry into the tipping […]
True Waiting Story #15: Library Lady
December 19, 2006 – 1:51 am
Sal, the busser, approached me in the kitchen. “Booth 9 needs directions to the library,” he said, and walked off to the dish pit.
“Okay,” I’m thinking, “the woman sitting alone at Booth 9 had been reading, and it’s my table.”
“I’ll tell her,” I told Sal.
“Hi! Did you need directions to the library?” I asked […]
True Waiting Story #14: Distinguished Tequila Connoisseur Storms Out for Having to Pay!
December 2, 2006 – 2:41 am
Last night as I was hosting a man asked me to come over to his table and join him and his wife.
I thanked him for the offer but told him that I could not since I was still on duty. He asked me if I was the owner. I said No. He […]
True Waiting Story #13: He Threw a Plate at Me!
November 25, 2006 – 8:41 am
It was toward the end of dinner when the waiter approached the table and the customer said, “This was barely edible!”
Noticing that this “barely edible” dish was now almost completely gone – save one last remaining morsel which she unceremoniously pushed across her plate with her fork, presumably to demonstrate its unfitness for consumption – […]
True Waiting Story #12: Is This All You Do?
November 23, 2006 – 2:46 pm
Customer #1: Is this your place?
Renegade Waiter: No. The owner was in this morning but isn’t here right now.
Customer #1: Well you’ve been here as long as we’ve been coming in.
Renegade Waiter: Yes, I’ve been here about five years now.
Customer #1: Is this all you […]
True Waiting Story #11: You Don’t Take Away!
November 22, 2006 – 4:45 am
Renegade Waiter: Hi folks. How are you this evening?
Customer: Is there some reason we can’t sit in that booth?
R.W.: Not at all. By all means.
New Waiter At New Table: Hi, how are you this eve—
Customer: What’s good here?
N.W.@N.T.: Well I like the spinach and—
Customer: Do you have […]
True Waiting Story #10: The Ascendency of the Stupid
July 21, 2006 – 4:31 am
If you were waiting on a table and, in the midst of performing your waiterly duties, you happened to eavesdrop on the party’s conversation, what would you think of the caliber of the conversation below, particularly Mr. B’s contribution. (Please note that Mr. B is not a small child, autistic, or mentally challenged.)
Mr. B: […]
True Waiting Story #9: A Necessary Yet Awkward Exchange
July 20, 2006 – 4:21 am
Why do some people feel the need to completely scrunch up their faces when communicating with a waiter? Scrunched-up faces can happen in any interaction:
“No <scrunch>, just water please.”
“I’m <scrunch> still eating.”
“We’ll <scrunch> take the check.”
It’s as if the communication is on the “down low,” or something uncomfortable, a necessary yet awkward exchange.
Listen people, […]
True Waiting Story #8: Senator Carlton, Waitress
July 12, 2006 – 3:41 pm
Wow, a regular person in office, and a waitress no less! From the Nevada Legislature Website:
MARGARET (MAGGIE) A. CARLTON
Democrat
Clark County Senatorial
District No. 2
Waitress
Watch out for those waiters and waitresses! From NPR:
Even among a colorful cast of Nevada lawmakers, Maggie Carlton stands out. Carlton continues to work as a coffee shop waitress while […]
True Waiting Story #6: Umbrella Lady
June 29, 2006 – 5:02 pm
‘Twas a cold rainy rainy night in Ann Arbor and (yippee!) it was time to punch out and go home. All I needed was my umbrel- oops! No umbrella.
Didn’t I see a stash of two or three umbrellas hanging on the dining room coat hooks earlier? Forgotten, unclaimed umbrellas? Going […]
True Waiting Story #5: Dessert
June 24, 2006 – 9:45 am
Renegade Waiter: So how was dinner tonight?
Couple: It was great, thanks!
R.W.: Any room left for dessert?
Woman: No, we’re gonna go home and have each other.
R.W.: Well good for you! Have a nice evening.
True Waiting Story #3: Loser!
June 18, 2006 – 10:13 pm
On a recent hosting stint, or renegade hosting, I watched two women sit down at a dirty table on the sidewalk patio as the previous party was leaving the table. Now at the time, I was managing a 45-minute wait for a table on the sidewalk and it was one of the busiest days […]
True Waiting Story #2: Attack of the Evangelicals
June 13, 2006 – 8:03 pm
Upon setting down the complimentary basket of chips and salsa…
Renegade Waiter: Hi there, would anyone care for something to drink?
Woman: No. Do you have cucumbers or something instead of these chips?
Renegade Waiter: No, I’m sorry. We don’t use cucumbers in any of our recipes so there are none in the […]
True Waiting Story #1: Generosity
June 12, 2006 – 7:17 am
Upon greeting a table of four and setting the complimentary basket of chips and salsa upon the table, the following exchange occured:
Woman: Do the different salsa cups contain different types of salsa? Is one hotter than the other?
Renegade Waiter: No ma’am, I just wanted to make sure you folks had enough […]
